By Naomi Foster

Response to Bernadette Mayer’s “You jerk, you didn’t call me up”

What makes a good poem? Is it structure and rhyme scheme? Is it the topic? Is it the amount of Shakespearean language you can cram into fourteen lines? No. While there are some basic guidelines that poets may follow, a poem’s value should not be determined by structure alone. A good poem makes the audience feel something. As our fingers run along the page trailing each line, we feel as though we are being inserted into the piece. Poetry is an experience. Oftentimes, we are so concerned with the technicalities that it’s easy to lose the driving force behind the poem. Poetry is not limited to sappy romance confessions or the technicalities of Shakespearean language. Sure, traditional poems are enjoyable and they serve as the blueprint, but change is necessary for the craft to keep on thriving.  In recent years, poets broke barriers by taking risks with their writing.They are not afraid to write about taboo subjects or use profanity to express their emotions.  A poem is no longer a scroll to read aloud for the masses, it’s a subtle whisper in one’s ear, a comforting hug that goes on for a few seconds too long, and at times a slap in the face. By toying with literary elements such as diction, tone, and voice, modern poets have redefined the culture. 

Bernadette Mayer, avant garde poet, is known for her audacious writing style. Ignoring the boundaries of comfort and courtesy, Mayer is determined to access her audience on an intimate level. Her brilliance is demonstrated in her destructured sonnet titled, “You jerk you didn’t call me up”. Mayer strategically uses diction to provide an emotionally stripping, borderline uncomfortable experience. Her word choice and phrasing set the tone and allow readers to understand the emotions. The  piece deals with one woman’s experience with disappointment in a romantic partner. She scolds her lover for not putting in the effort to become the man she needs him to be, but she does it  in such a casual way that we as readers can easily imagine this poem being an angry voicemail.  This is what I would classify as an anti-love poem. It’s filled with witty one-liners that hit right where it hurts. 

 From the first line, Mayer packs the punch saying “you jerk you didn’t call me up”. Her use of slang demonstrates her anger. Jerk is a term typically used by children and young adults. It’s a playground insult at best, but at the moment it captures her feelings. He didn’t call and it didn’t seem like a big deal to him but that crushed her.  Surely she could have used a pretentious vocabulary word to describe his careless behavior, but she chose the word “jerk” for a reason. Everything in poetry is done on purpose, especially diction. “Diction has several components—the sound of the word; the accuracy of the word; and its connotation”(Oliver 76).  The ending sound of the word is harsh, which helps set the tone of anger. The definition of the word “jerk” is extremely fitting for this young man, being that he didn’t call his significant other. It’s clear that Mayer is not fond of the boy that she speaks of and she wants to make sure that readers feel the same.  In poetry, “there exists this definite sense of person, exactly knowable behind the poem”(Oliver 79). Without knowing the narrator, we know what she’s going through. Anyone who’s ever experienced heartbreak and rejection in some form can relate to Mayer’s frustration. It’s a poem about a romance gone wrong, that can be interpreted differently depending on how we look at it. Through her writing, Mayer lays herself bare and allows readers to pick apart her deepest emotions. 

Mayer  goes on to say that she “hasn’t seen [him]in so long and that [he] probably [has] a fucking tan”. The shocking use of profanity works very well in this circumstance because “every poem is a new creation because the creativity makes sweet use of the most unlikely approach”(Oliver 87). Her blunt language is unexpected but understandable given the predicament. Profanity in literature is sometimes frowned upon because the slang has the potential to interrupt the flow and it diminishes any chance at a polished piece, but that’s the point. Mayer didn’t want this to be a stereotypical heart-to-heart begging for a man’s love. She was angry with him and herself for allowing this to go on for an extended period of time.

After admitting that she hadn’t seen him in a long time, it’s clear that this poem  isn’t just about the phone call, this is about a failure to try.  He avoids seeing her in person because it’s easier to hide than giving her the commitment and respect that she craves.  

In the lines that follow, Mayer gets very specific with her insults by mentioning personal information that only a close associate would know. “This tone of intimacy doesn’t just happen. It happened because the writer intended for it to happen”(Oliver 77). Her critiques are alarmingly invasive, it’s as though she wants him to feel guilty for  throwing away their relationship. He’s not the type of person who tries to make things better, but a scared little boy who allows a situation to become progressively worse until the other people in his life can’t stand to be around him. 

Instead of making love that night her “boyfriend” was “drinking [his] parents to the airport”. At first glance it reads like a typo . Mayer was very intentional with her phrasing here. Instead of making time for someone who cares about him,  he would rather drown his sorrows in liquor, which in turn drives his parents away because they cannot bear to see their son in that state. This section creates a tone of disappointment. For a moment the narrator puts her anger aside and she feels pity for someone who doesn’t love themselves enough to turn their life around. 

Similar to his parents, she is over his antics and claims that she is “done with [those] bourgeois boys’” because “all [they] ever do is go back to ancestral comforts only money can get”. Once again, Mayer shows just how far she’s willing to go with the insults.  Generalizing him with the entire middle class, she makes it known that she is losing respect for him. He is not a troubled individual deserving of a second chance, but an uppity man-child who relies on money for his happiness. We get the sense that he prioritizes money over all else when she makes the allusion to a wealthy poet known for love poems, saying “Even Catullus was rich..” He doesn’t try hard enough. Wealthier men like Catullus have successfully reciprocated romantic feelings for their partners, but her “boyfriend” acts like he’s not capable of love. 

The boy would rather “settle for a couch by a soporific color cable tv set instead of any arc of love, no wonder the GI Joe team blows it everytime”.  “Settle” in regards to relationships is almost always a bad sign. He settles for less because he’s afraid of more. What’s worse is that he probably has no idea that settling has negative effects on other people in his life. It’s also important to note “any ” in the phrase” any arc love”. Technically, the sentence would have the same meaning if the word had been excluded, but it’s inclusion emphasizes his cold, cruel nature. Additionally her use of slang, in reference to the GI Joe team, adds to the conversational tone of the piece. 

Mayer finishes off the poem with an ultimatum “ Make love or die at the hands of the Cobra Commander”.  After all of rejection and deceit, there is a small part of her that believes that he can change, which is why she even offers him another chance to get in her good graces.  “Cobra Commander ” seems to be some sort of reference to some sort of multimedia, so we know that she doest literally want him to die. It is a clever way of saying that he can either work on himself or else he will be dead to her in all ways except physical.

I would  argue that the first three lines of stanza one set the tone for the entire poem. We can practically hear the frustration in her voice, which is exactly what Mayer wanted. Every word was intentional. Her use of diction was meant to create a conversational atmosphere. The poem reads like a real-life conversation, a technique commonly used in most contemporary poems. “Contemporary poetry is written in a diction that belies that it was formally composed, it’s general tone is natural and  friendly intimacy, the language is noticeably different from ordinary language  and your words are neither pretentious nor especially formal”(Oliver 77).  Though this tone is certainly not friendly in the typical sense, there is a decent amount of intimacy, which adds drama, suspense, and disappointment. She knew that he would  disappoint her but she fell in love anyway. She saw everything coming, which is why it hurt so much when he didn’t reciprocate those feelings.

Bernadette Mayer’s use of diction allows for an immersive experience. Daring to be vulnerable, Mayer  presents the audience with her most vulnerable  self. This is no ordinary tale of heartbreak, but a journey of self discovery and realizing her worth.